Forwards Forever - Appreciate Random Emails 'n Stuff!

Mobile Alert

2008-04-08T22:07:00.000+10:00

Some useful information to consider:

Names in Cell Phones

Something to think about & maybe make a change?????!!!!! Be careful how you list names on your cell phone! This lady has changed her habit of how she lists her names on her mobile phone after her handbag was stolen. Her handbag which contained her mobile, credit card, purse...etc.... was stolen. Twenty minutes later when she called her husband from a pay phone telling him what had happened, hubby says 'I've just received your text asking about our pin number and I've replied a little while ago.' When they rushed down to the bank, the bank staff told them all the money was already withdrawn. The pickpocket had actually used the stolen hand phone to text 'hubby' in the contact list, and got hold of the pin number. Within 20 minutes he had withdrawn all the money from the bank account.

THE MORAL OF THE LESSON: Don't disclose the relationship between you and the people in your contact list. Avoid using names like: Home, Honey, Hubby, Sweetheart, Dad, Mom, etc. And, very importantly, when sensitive information is being asked through texts, CONFIRM by calling back.

Also, when you're being text messaged by friends, or family, to meet them somewhere, be sure to call back to confirm that the message came from them. If you don't reach them, be very careful about going to a place to meet 'family and friends' who text you.

Charles Schultz Philosophy

2008-01-17T21:55:00.000+10:00

Charles Schultz Philosophy

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schultz ,the creator of the "Peanuts" comic strip. You don' t have to actually answer the questions. Just read the e-mail straight through, and you 'll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America Contest.

4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.

5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and
actress.

6. Name the last decade 's worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here ' s an other quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.

2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with

Easier?

The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.

Pass this on to those people who have made a difference in your life.
I just Did!!

Through a Rapist's Eyes (No Joke)

2007-12-29T15:28:00.000+10:00

This is important information for females of ALL ages .
When this was sent to me, I was told to forward it to my lady friends, but I forwarded it to most everyone in my address book. My men friends have female friends and this information is too important to miss someone.

Please pass it along.

A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed . They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair . Women with short hair are not common targets.

2) The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly . Many of them carry scissors around specifically to cut clothing.

3) They also look for women on their cell phone , searching through their purse, or doing other activities while walking because they are off-guard and can be easily overpowered.

4) Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early morning, between 5:00a.m. and 8:30a.m.

5) The number one place women are abducted from/attacked is grocery store parking lots . Number two: is office parking lots/garages. Number three: is public restrooms.

6) The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to another location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.

7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.

8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas , or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands. Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.

10) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question , like what time is it, or make general small talk: 'I can't believe it is so cold out here,' 'we're in for a bad winter.' Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a target.

11) If someone is coming toward you , hold out your hands in front of you and yell STOP or STAY BACK ! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back . Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

12) If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes) , yell I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

13) If someone grabs you , you can't beat them with strength but you can by outsmarting them If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm (between the elbow and armpit) OR in the upper inner thigh VERY VERY HARD .

One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it - it hurts.

14) After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN . I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful . You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble and He's out of there.

15) When the guy puts his hands up to you , grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

16) Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings , take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts!!!
You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

1 . Tip from Tae Kwon Do : The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

2. Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans . If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM . Toss it away from you....chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.) DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

a. If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

5 . A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot or parking garage:

A.) Be aware: Look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

C. ) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out.

IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times. And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, preferably in a zigzag pattern.

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP!

It may get you raped or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well-educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her 'Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.'

The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.' He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it , but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night.

Please pass this on and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby ---- This should be taken seriously because the Crying Baby theory was mentioned on America's Most Wanted this past Saturday when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana.

I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know. It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle. I was going to send this to the ladies only, but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you may want to pass it on.

作文：三十年後的我

2007-12-21T20:04:00.000+10:00

真是好狗膽(超爆笑)

作文：三十年後的我.....
在健康國小，作文老師在五年級班上上作文課，指定一個作文題目「三十年後的我」。
班上的一位女生小美寫道：
「今天的天氣不錯，我開著老公結婚週年送我的勞司萊斯，手指上戴著他剛買給
我的三克拉大鑽戒，脖子上也掛著上個月生日才送我的紅寶石項鍊，帶著我的小
孩到大安森林公園去玩。我們倘佯在花團錦簇的園區裡，到處都是人們羨慕的眼
光。突然，路上衝出一個渾身惡臭、滿臉污穢、無家可歸的老太太，我仔細一瞧～
「天啊！她竟然是我國小五年級的作文老師！」
老師評語：這一個星期妳只能站著上課

＊再忙都要看 !人間處處有陷阱！

2007-12-09T23:03:00.000+10:00

＊再忙都要看 !人間處處有陷阱！

檢察官提醒您：非常重要一定要看別上當掉入陷阱
今年的 2月24日早上六點多，我在小港機場要搭機前往越南試車，當我在排隊CHECK-IN時，有一位年約60歲頭髮斑白的老婦人，帶著一位20幾歲手提兩箱行李的年輕人，非常親切且用懇求的語氣向我說：「這位先生，不好意思!我兒子要到越南工作，因為要帶的工具和行李太多了，重量超重，看你託運的行李很少，能不能一箱行李託你一起秤？」

她看我還在猶豫，馬上接著說：「我們沒有攜帶違禁品啦！不信我可以打開給你看看！」

我打量了一下這位「所謂她兒子的年輕人」，雖然外表不像壞人，但在小港機場身上就穿上包商的黃背心(未免太早了)，出差還要老媽媽陪至機場CHECK IN，顯然有違常理？

我為避免不必要的麻煩，只好堅決地向她說：「NO！」

那位媽媽隨即又尋找另一個目標，因為是早上7:30的飛機，我在6:45就進入候機室等待，但是直到登機時，我都沒看見「她兒子」到候機室，甚至在登機後，我還來回從飛機頭「搜查」到飛機尾好幾次，都找不到「她兒子」。

這證明了「他媽媽」說謊了!

各位可能有個疑問：「他們都沒上飛機，那拖運行李(縱使有夾帶違禁品)有什麼用？」

我想有幾種可能：

1、在出境登機安檢時就被查獲了，所以「她兒子」被逮了(可能性小)
2、我見過面的「她兒子」本來就不打算登機的，他手上虛晃的機票是真正要登機及出關取行李同黨的機票。若我幫他攜帶行李夾帶過關了，這位藏鏡人會自動來取走行李，若不幸被入境的海關查獲了，這位藏鏡人就悄悄地逍遙法外，我卻成了代罪羔羊。

因為我會在越南找不到託我帶行李的「她兒子」，在百口莫辨下進入了牢籠(這是事後我在網路看到的真實案例，結果案例裡的好心人被馬來西亞政府槍決了)

親愛的朋友，別上當掉入陷阱喔！請仔細閱讀以下五則故事！

■ 海關檢查前，別亂幫陌生人提行李，小心被栽贓(新加坡判處死刑)
某人單獨旅行，在飛機上遇到一位投緣的乘客，兩個人一起下機提取行李，在通過海關之前，那新認識的朋友說：「我的行李真是太多了，能不能麻煩您幫我帶一小件。」

單獨旅行的人，心想自己的東西反正不多，就一手接了過來。

跟著，他被海關的人員，以攜帶毒品走私的罪名逮捕了。

他大聲對著還在另一個關口接受檢查的朋友喊，那人卻說不認識他。

他被架出了海關大廳，悲憤的呼喊聲仍然從長廊盡頭傳來，大廳裡的人都搖頭說：「罪有應得的販毒者，過去不知道已經帶進多少毒品了！」

那飛機上認識的朋友也嘆氣：「好險哪！我差點被栽了贓！」

■ 百貨公司別亂幫陌生人拿東西
一個學生去逛百貨公司，臨出門，突然有個女人，匆匆忙忙地跑來對她說：「我的肚子痛，必須上廁所，可是我跟我先生約好，他就在門口的一輛白色的車子上等我，能不能麻煩您，告訴我先生一聲。」

說完並塞了兩包東西給她：「這也麻煩您交給他。」

學生還沒走出門，就被百貨公司的人抓住。她抱著兩包沒有付錢的貴重商品，嚇得呆呆地站在那裡，因為人贓俱獲，而百口莫辯。

至於那先前說肚子痛的婦人，和所謂的白車，則消失了蹤影。

■ 身分證別亂借人，本票不能亂開
有一次，我的一個朋友跑來跟我說：「有一個從台北下來的人（稱Ａ君），拿著我女兒（Ｂ君）的身分證來找我，說我女兒跟他借了三十萬元的"本票"Ａ君又怕Ｂ君拿他的本票去高利貸那亂借錢，希望Ｂ君的老媽將那三十萬的"本票" 還給他。」

可是Ｂ君的老媽看了看身份證才發現原身份證除了名字正確外，相片根本不對，而且之前他女兒有一次將身份證給弄丟了，有辦理遺失；會不會被有心人士給拿去亂借錢了？因此就跑來跟我爸提這事……

我說：「現在騙人的把戲那麼多，既然身份證不對，那就不用去管他了。」

Ｂ君的老媽說：「可是那個人看起很老實，而且身旁又帶著兩個小孩，看起來不像是會騙人的感覺？」

我又說：「你看現在外面的金光黨，那一個看起來不是一臉老實樣？況且有沒有借錢，問你女兒不就知道了，何不問清楚呢？不然你叫他去報案，既然身份證不對，也不必怕說『告』輸他，如果他是真的，他就會陪你玩到底，如果他是假的，自己就會知難而退了。」

聽了我這麼說之後，他也覺得有理? 就不加以理會。

之後事情也就沒有下文了……
１身份證是很重要的證件，千萬不能弄丟，也不要任意的外借；如果不小心弄丟了，一定要去警察局登記遺失，並保留登記遺失的「證據」，再去申請補發。

２「本票」千萬不可隨便開立。

３千萬不要看對方老實就輕易的相信別人，記住，壞人是不寫在臉上的。

４遇到突發的事情，不要一下子就鑽入死胡同，給自己一些時間去思考，就算對方在催促，也要盡量拖延，讓自己整理一下整個事件的過程，判斷事情的「合理性」。

■ 不要隨意換零錢給人，小心被人趁機搶劫

最近有個朋友遇了一個令人髮指的狀況，在這裡提出來供大家參考並小心！一個貌似忠厚的人手上拿著伍佰元，在路上向我的朋友佯稱需要兌換零錢。

待我的朋友伸手拿自己皮夾時，他卻一把抓住我朋友的衣領，並且大叫搶劫，接著很快就從旁出現一個自稱是路人甲的人，出面要作證，並且要強拉我朋友進入較無人的小巷子。

幸好我的朋友了解地形，並知道遇上強盜集團，堅持往人多的方向去，並且執意要到警察局，再盡力甩開用力被抓住的衣領才得以脫困！

以上這件事是發生在台中市東興街附近，但是我認為受害者一定遍佈各處，在這提出來希望大家小心！

這一類的手法，令我對這個社會失望，再也不相信人，也不願好心的幫忙別人！

１建議需要幫助的人，請不要隨便找路人，直接向警察或警局求助！
２勿讓陌生人靠近你，也別靠近陌生人，不管男生或女生。
３別輕易讓威脅你的人帶你進入陌生或少人的環境。
４有機會就向人多的地方去，並大聲呼叫！
５緊急的時候，直接向歹徒下腹攻擊並用手叉他眼睛！
６堅決要求進警察局，連貌似警員的人都不見得可以信任！
７永遠不要停車除非你已經確定已經可以獲得救援，甚至當你遇到輕微車禍時，也別停下來，直接開往警察局。

是不是很值得一讀呢？

上述情形很不幸地是真實而且危險的事件，仔細思考否則=B

God Carries Our Load

2007-11-06T19:22:00.000+10:00

Brianna was almost halfway to the top of the tremendous granite cliff. She was standing on a ledge where she was taking a breather during this, her first rock climb. As she rested there, the safety rope snapped against her eye and knocked out her contact lens. 'Great', she thought. 'Here I am on a rock ledge, hundreds of feet from the bottom and hundreds of feet to the top of this cliff, and now my sight is blurry.' She looked and looked, hoping that somehow it had landed on the ledge. But it just wasn't there. She felt the panic rising in her, so she began praying. She prayed for calm, and she prayed that she may find her contact lens.

When she got to the top, a friend examined her eye and her clothing for the lens, but it was not to be found. Although she was calm now that she was at the top, she was saddened because she could not clearly see across the range of mountains. She thought of the bible verse 'The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth.'

She thought, 'Lord, You can see all these mountains. You know every stone and leaf, and You know exactly where my contact lens is. Please help me.' ;
Later, when they had hiked down the trail to the bottom of the cliff they met another party of climbers just starting up the face of the cliff. One of them shouted out, 'Hey, you guys! Anybody lose a contact lens?'

Well, that would be startling enough, but you know why the climber saw it? An ant was moving slowly across a twig on the face of the rock, carrying it!

The story doesn't end there. Brianna's father is a cartoonist. When she told him the incredible story of the ant, the prayer, and the contact lens, he drew a cartoon of an ant lugging that contact lens with the caption, 'Lord, I don't know why You want me to carry this thing. I can't eat it, and it's awfully heavy. But if this is what You want me to do, I'll carry it for You.'

I think it would do all of us some good to say, 'God, I don't know why You want me to carry this load. I can see no good in it and it's awfully heavy. But, if You want me to carry it, I will.'

God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

Yes, I do love GOD. He is my source of existence and my Savior. He keeps me functioning each and every day. Without Him, I am nothing, but with Him....I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. (Phil. 4:13)

This is a simple test. If you love GOD and are not ashamed of all the marvelous things He has done for you, share this with others.

Cookies... A great lesson in life

2007-07-24T16:58:00.000+10:00

Transformers - The Movie - Amazing Special Effects

2007-07-21T23:43:00.000+10:00

Woman...

2007-05-22T23:36:00.000+10:00

A poem by Maya Angelou
--- take care and enjoy!

=)

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...

WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .
one friend who always makes her laugh...
and one who lets her cry...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a feeling of control over her destiny.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job, break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without; ruining the friendship...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...
but its over...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
whom she can trust, whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table...
or a charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year...

plus my own addition...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that mistakes are a part of life...
ours and others...

( I'm such a sucker for things like this... )
Oh oh oh - here's another one... =)

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
life's can throw you curve balls...
you gotta prepare to catch it head on ...
or turn and run really really fast...

hehe Take care!!!

**Big hugs!!**

Women, explained

2007-05-16T10:35:00.000+10:00

Here, see...

Woman as explained by a *physicist*
Woman as explained by an *engineer*
Woman as explained by a *mathematician*
Woman as explained by a *radio operator*
Woman as explained by a *military tactician*

Idiot of the Week

2007-03-28T22:15:00.000+10:00

Blow out the flame on the shot before you drink it, IDIOT!!!

Girls are like apples.... XD

2006-12-04T19:02:00.000+10:00

Girls are like apples on trees.
The best ones are at the top of the tree.
The boys dont want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they get the rotten apples from the ground that arent as good, but easy.
So the apples up top think something wrong with them when in reality they're amazing.
They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Clever Email

2006-11-24T19:05:00.000+10:00

This has got to be one of the cleverest
E-mails I've received in awhile.
Someone out there either has too much
spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one)!

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA:
When you rearrange the letters
(With no letters left over and using each letter only once):
TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS

Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay
too much time on their hands!

Bet your friends haven't seen this one!!!
DON'T FORGET TO SHARE THIS!

Ass Face

2006-05-29T22:18:00.000+10:00

funny funny funny...never seen a face looking so much like an ass...

Amusing Software Analogy

2006-02-24T19:33:00.000+10:00

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the Flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as

Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as: Football 5.0, Rugby 4.3 and Cricket 3.0 .

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs; it simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband

1.0 is an Operating System. Try entering the command:
C:/I-THOUGHT-YOU-LOVED-ME to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically

install Guilt 3.0. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring Loudly.

CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law. This is not a supported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory

and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,Tech Support
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Dear Technical Support,

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2, which I

had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1,Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9.

Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better.

I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.
Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they

caused severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fianc�e 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus

and Cleanhouse2005.

Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in

Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them.

Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Multi-Whinge. These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.

Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Saab 93 Convertible hard drive, it often crashes.

Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which can't be turned off.

Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2005, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2005, it tends to delete all of your Money before uninstalling itself.

50 ways to know if you're an "Asian"

2006-02-15T20:46:00.000+10:00

50 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU'RE AN "ASIAN" (*The NEW List from the 1st to
1.5 Generation Perspective*)
1. You were/are a good student with very high GPAs.
2. You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or
finance.
3. You have more than one-college degree, especially more than one
Master's.
4. If you play a musical instrument, it must be piano.
5. You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table.
6. Your stove is covered with aluminum foil.
7. Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it.
8. You beat eggs with chopsticks.
9. You always leave outdoor shoes at the door.
10. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.
11. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times.
12. You boil water before drinking.
13. You eat all meals in the kitchen to keep your dining room clean.
14. You don't use measuring cups when preparing foods.
15. You save grocery bags and use them to hold garbage.
16. You have a rice cooker.
17. You're a wok user.
18. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
19. You wash rice 2-3 times before cooking it.
20. You make sounds when you have a bowl of soup.
21. You don't dry-clean clothes, even if they need to be
dry-cleaned.
22. You iron your own shirts.
23. You like congee with thousand year old eggs.
24. You always cook yourself, even if you hate it.
25. You use credit cards, and pay monthly bills in full.
26. You do either soccer, swimming, badminton, volleyball,
basketball, or ping pong, and have an obsession with making the
Beijing Olympics.
27. You buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off.
28. When you hand wash dishes, you only use cold water.
29. You hate to waste food:
a) Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to
throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them.
b) You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or
one leftover chicken wing.
30. You don't own any real Tupperware-only a cupboard full of used
but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam
jars.
32. When toilet paper is on sale, you buy 100 rolls and store them.
33. You have a collection of miniature shampoo/conditioner bottles
and little soap bars that you take every time you stay in a hotel.
34. The condiments in your fridge are either Price Club sized or
come in plastic packets, which you save every time you get take out
or go to McDonald's.
35. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and
travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).
36. You spit bones and other food scraps on the table.
37. Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself.
38. When you go to a dance party, there is always a group of guys
surrounding the dance floor trying to look cool.
39. Your house/aparment is always cold in winter, and hot in summer.
40. Your Mom drives her Mercedes to Foodtown, or Shoppers Food
Warehouse regardless how far it is, even if the dairy is next door.
41. You always look phone numbers up in the phone book, since
calling Directory Assistance costs 50 cents.
42. You only make long distance calls after 11pm or during weekends.
43. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached.
44. You never call your parents just to say hi.
45. You think ONLY Japanese can make good CARS!
46. You use a colored face cloth every morning.
47. You starve yourself before going to all-you-can-eat places.
48. Almost all your money is in a savings account
49. You never discuss your love life with your parents.

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST:

50. You take this message and forward it to all your Asian friends

From 1 proud Asian to another, forward this to every damn Asian you
know.

How to be the Perfect Asian Australian Parent (from the second generation perspective)

2006-02-15T20:40:00.000+10:00

1. Be a little more lenient on the 7:00 p.m. curfew.
2. Don't ask where the other point went when your child comes home with grade on his/her report card.
3. Don't "ai-yah" loudly at your kid's dress habits.
4. Don't blatantly hint about the merits of Habad (Harvard), Yeil(Yale), Purinsiton ( Princeton), or Stamfud (Stanford).
5. Don't reveal all the intimate details of your kid's life to the entire Asian community.
6. Don't ask your child, "What are you going to do with your life?" if he/she majors in a non-science field.
7. Don't give your son a bowl haircut or your daughter two acres of bangs.
8. Don't try to set your kid up on a date in anticipation of their poor taste or inept social skills.
9. Incorporate other phrases besides, "Did you study yet?" or "When are you getting married?" into your daily conversations with your children.
10. Don't ask all your kid's friends over the age of 21 if they have a boy/girl friend yet.

Top Ten Reasons why there won't be an Asian President Anytime Soon

2006-02-15T20:33:00.000+10:00

1. White House not big enough for in-laws
2. Engineering, medicine, and law always preferred over politics
3. Oval Office has bad feng shui.
4. Can't find decent roast duck inside the beltway.
5. Secret service can't handle nagging from mother.
6. Dignitaries are generally intimidated by chopsticks at state dinners.
7. No chance for promotion.
8. Lactose intolerance not considered politically correct.
9. Senior aides won't take off shoes before coming in.
10. Air Force One: No frequent flyer miles.

You know you're an "Asian" if...

2006-02-15T20:30:00.000+10:00

YOU KNOW YOU ARE INDONESIAN IF...
1. when u talk really fast, with rapid tongue movements
2. when u wear thongs or sandals everywhere, yes even in winter!
3. following above, always get bagged for wearing sandals
4. mie goreng is in the top 5 of ur fave foods
5. if you love taking photo studio pics
6. you like travelling in big group of frens, and talkin VERY loudly
Irrispective of your surroundings
7. almost a weekly ritual to go to church

YOU KNOW YOU ARE JAPANESE IF...
1. You're obsessed with you hair, your car, and your clothes.
2. You want to marry a Korean American or Chinese American woman
(males); or you want to marry a white guy (females).
3. You're afraid of black people.
4. You only drive Japanese cars.
5. You know you are superior to all other Asians.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE KOREAN IF...
1. You smoke and drink too much.
2. You wear pink Polo collar shirts, have loose beige pants, and
have blonde highlights in your hair.
3. You know what a Dalki, Pucca or Mashimoro is?
4. You're afraid of black people.
5. You drive a Hyundai even though you won't admit it
6. You know you are superior to all other Asians.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE CHINESE IF...
1. You think you're the smartest people in the world.
2. You have a mobile with you at all times.
3. You know the abbreviation of a.b.c.
4. Today's steamed rice is tomorrow's fried rice.
5. You're afraid of black people.
6. A bicycle was a good form of transport before.
7. You know you are superior to all other Asians.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE VIETNAMESE IF...
1. You MUST have fish sauce with every meal.
2. You eat at a restaurant that has "Pho?" on the signage.
3. Guys wear green mircofibre pants with Nike sneakers, and girls
wear their flared black pants over their high sole shoes.
4. You know the abbreviation of f.o.b.
5. You have some relative who is Chinese.
6. Cabramatta makes you feel home sick.
7. You're afraid of black people.
8. You're fond of 2nd hand Japanese import cars.
9. You know you are superior to all other Asians.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE PILIPINO IF...
1. You want to be a dancer, a singer, or an actor, even though you
have a day job as a nurse, an engineer, or a accountant.
2. A member of your family back home is a politician or a movie star
or knows one.
3. Guys with jeans and white sneakers anyone?
4. You're always late for any engagement, and practice the art of
Philo time?
5. You're not afraid of black people; in fact, you wish you were
black.
6. You love your Toyota 's and Honda's.
7. You don't care if you are superior to all other Asians or not,
because being Philipino is just cool in itself.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE THAI IF...
1. People want to pay you for sex.
2. No matter what you eat, it's not greasy or spicy enough.
3. You mum seems to workout at the local gym.
4. Without glasses your eyes would be the size of ants.
5. You're not afraid of black people, because in some cases you're
ust as dark as they are.
6. Any car dump to the **** house is good?
7. You know in your heart that you will never be superior to all
other Asians, but you've learned to live with it.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE MALAYSIAN IF...
1. You believe everything the Government tells you
2. But are willing to change your mind if someone slips you $50.
3. The whole world (and Soros) is out to suppress you and your
country.
4. You think that Mahathir will be around in 2020.
5. You welcome all people (be they black or otherwise) who invest in
the MSC .
6. You think you are superior to most other Asians, but $50 can
change that too.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE SINGAPOREAN IF...
1. You eat, sleep, have sex and smile according to the policies
stipulated by the Government in the Red Book they gave you when you
were born.
2. The Red Book does not state that you have to be afraid of black
people so you aren't.
3. You know you are superior to all other Asians, because it says so
in the Red Book.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE ASIAN AUSTRALIAN IF...
1. You regret the fact that you did not learn Mandarin or other
Asian language properly in Saturday language school.
2. You say you're Australian, totally forgetting your roots.
3. During childhood you didn't have much asian friends, played
bullrush or handball and ate 'sunny boys' for lunch.
4. A form of choosing was done by 'dip.dip dog ****?!'
5. You know you have to shop at an Asian grocery store but you have
no idea what you are buying nor can you read any of the food labels.
6. You cheer for Australia during the Olympics, know local
Australian bands, and know what a Vb is.
7. You can speak fluent English without an accent.
8. Know what a Commodore and Falcon are. Yes..... they are cars!
9. You know you are superior to all other Asians, despite the fact
that they beat you in Maths in the VCE, can speak an Asian language
fluently and know what they are buying in Asian grocery stores.

The 20 Acts of the Best Boyfriend

2006-01-25T22:32:00.000+10:00

1. He fumbles to hold your hand instead of the other way around.
2. When he's watching tv he holds you or touches you in some way to let you know that he IS thinking about you.
3. He isn't embarrased to kiss you in front of his friends.
4. He introduces you to people he knows to show you off instead of ignoring you.
5. Lets you know that your as sexy as they come.
6. Leaves little love notes for you to find.
7. When your half asleep on the couch he gets a blanket for you and kisses you on the cheek.
8. Always thinks of you first when plans are being made.
9. Doesn't leave you alone with his mom for too long.
10.Opens doors for you to be a gentlemen.
11.Doesn't make you feel bad for getting upset with him.
12.Puts you first before all else.
13.He gives you affection to say I love you and not I want sex.
14.When your the first one to wake up he doesn't just role over and go back to sleep, he grabs you and says he wants to hold you some more.
15.He gives you flowers even if they are just dandylions.
16.Gives you compliments even when your not hinting for them.
17.Wants to share things that he loves with you so that you can become a part of them also.
18.Always saves a seat next to him for you.
19.Doesn't just listen when your complaining about your friends, but gives his opinion also to help you figure things out.
20.Takes the initiative to be romantic.

Reunion of 4 friends

2005-02-21T22:44:00.000+10:00

Four friends reunited at a party after 30 years. After a few laughs and drinks, one of them had to go to the rest room. The ones who stayed behind began to talk about their kids and their successes.

The first guy says: I am very proud of my son, he is my pride and joy. He started working at a very successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration soon he was promoted And began to climb the corporate ladder becoming the General Manager and Now he is the President of the company. He became so rich that he gave his Best friend a top of the line Mercedes Benz for his birthday.

The second guy says: Damn, that's terrific!! My son is also my pride and joy, I am very proud of him. He started working at a traveling agency for a very big airline. He went to flight school to become a pilot and also manage to become a partner in the company where he now owns the majority of the assets. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.

The third guy says: Well, well, well congratulations!! My son is also my pride and joy and he is also very rich. He studied in the best universities and became an Engineer. He started his own construction company and became very successful and a multimillionaire. He also gave away some thing very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday. He built a 30,000 sq ft mansion specially for his friend.

The three friends congratulated each other mutually for the successes of theirs sons.

The fourth friend who earlier had gone to restroom returned and asked: What's going on, what are all the congratulations for?

One of the three said: We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. And then he asked, What about your son?

The fourth man replied: My son is Gay and he makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.

The three friends said: What a shame that must be, that is horrible, what a disappointment you must feel.

The fourth man replied: No, I am not ashamed. Not at all. He is my son and I love him just as well, he is my pride and joy. And he is very lucky too. Did you know that his birthday just passed and the other day he received a beautiful 30,000 sq ft mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes Benz from his three boyfriends!!

Japan's Subway Signs...

2003-11-02T21:28:00.000+10:00

This is what the sign intended...from left to right..
*injured arm* *holding toddlers* *pregnant women* *injured leg* have priorities to the seat...

好容易令人誤會
從左到右
手受傷,抱小孩,孕婦,腿受傷,可以坐優先座

男人的問題是!!

2003-09-21T13:46:00.000+10:00

男人的問題是：

如果妳對他好，他說妳愛上他了．
對他不好，他說妳驕傲．
如果妳穿得很漂亮，他說你企圖誘惑他．
如果不，他說妳是鄉下來的
如果跟他理論，他說妳固執
如果妳沈默，他說妳沒大腦！
如果妳比他聰明，他沒面子
如果他比你聰明，他很棒！
如果妳不愛他，他想擁有妳
如果妳愛他，他試著離開妳．
如果妳不跟他做愛，他說妳不愛他
如果跟他做，他說你是賤貨！
如果妳告訴他妳的問題，他說妳麻煩
如果不，他說妳不信任他
如果妳罵他，妳好像他奶媽
如果他罵妳，是表示他“關心”妳
如果妳沒有守承諾，妳是不可信的人
如果他不守承諾，他是不得以的
如果妳吸煙，妳是壞女人
如果他吸煙，他是紳士
如果妳考試成績好，他說是運氣
如果他考得好，他說是實力！
如果妳傷害他，表示妳很殘忍
如果他傷害妳，表示妳太敏感而且太難取悅！
如果你寄這封信給男生，他們會發誓以上是不正確的．．
如果你不寄給他們，他們說妳自私．．

Menu - Chinese English

2003-08-14T12:19:00.000+10:00

Brisbane High Schools - How Many Students...

2003-08-09T21:42:00.000+10:00

HOW MANY STUDENTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB AT...

Churchie: Two - one to call the electrician and one to call daddy to pay the bill.

CHAC: Only one, but they get 6 demerit points for breaking it in the first place.

Moreton Bay College: One - she holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.

Lourdes Hill: Eleven - one to screw it and ten to support its sexual orientation.

Balmoral: Three - one to change it and two to try and figure out if you can get high off the old one.

St. Laurie's: Ten - one to change it, one back up if the first guy's too drunk and the other eight to pray that it works.

Kelvin Grove (Queensland Dance School of Excellence): Five - one to change the bulb and four to do an interpretative dance about it.

Carmel C ollege: Seven - one to change the light bulb and six to throw a party because he didn't screw it in upside down this time.

Wynnum North: None they don't have light bulbs...they are too fucked up...people smash them and try to kill them selves with them but if you told someone there was a broken light bulb they would probably try to fix it even though there isn't one there because they are so stoned to get light bulbs for the school!

Sommerville: None - with fluoro green uniforms, its better in the dark.

BBC: Seven - one to change it and the other 6 to stand around playing soggy sao's while he does it.

Iona: Five - one to change it, 3 to stare at his arse while he does it and 2 to burn a hedge down, just for the hell of it.

Girls Grammar: Five - one to change the bulb, one to make sure her nails don't break, one to curl her hair, one to make sure her outfit matches the light and one to make sure her shoes match as well.

Nudgee: None - they don't have any money left after all the imports.

Toowoomba Grammar: none - they don't have electricity yet.

All Hallows: Four - one to change it and the other three to bitch about what a shit job she did.

Terrace: Two - one to screw it in, and the other to gel his hair while he does it.

Villanova: Two - one to fix it an d one to look in a dictionary to discover what the heck a "light bulb" is anyway.

Ipswich Grammar: None - they can't find a shop selling light bulbs within a 200km radius of Ipswich.

St. Eddies: just one guy to make the lightbulb fall in love with him... but it dont matter cause he'll just go screw some other lightbulb anyway...

Boys Grammar: Twenty One - one to change the bulb and 20 to hang out at the Queen Street Mall...

Brisbane State High: Ten - one to change it, one to break the old one and stab the guy fixing the light cause he looked at him 'funny' and a crew of eight to fight them both for no particular reason.

Wynnum State High: Thirty One - one chic to actually change it, fifteen guys to look up her skirt, ten guys to see if they have enough money to pay her for a one night stand and five to smoke pot while they are skipping class.
MSM College: None - they call the Marist guys and get them to do it for them.

Marist Ashgrove: None - they return the call and get the MSM girls to return the favor.

Ferny Grove: None, their tree friends help them out.

Stuartholme: 5, one to screw the bulb, 2 to hold her up there and the other two to hold the chair that the first two are on.

Mitchelton State High: none - why waste money on light bulbs when they can waste it on their cricket fields?? (or fencing in their "students/animals")

Loretto College: First you gotta find the blasted place (hint: Year 10 Marist Dancing Lessons... remind most of you?

Loretto College: 10, 3 to change the light bulb, two to sit on their arses watching and 5 to sit around wishing their boyfriends where there to help.

Redlands College: 1 to ask Mr patterson if they can... wait while he asks god if its ok oops none coz mr patterson (and god) would say no co z it promotes sex.

St. Mary's: i dunno... but i'm sure they'll make it into an act at their musical next year.. at least it would be more interesting then this year...

Malanda High: the entire skool population coz its the most exciting thing thats happened there since the freakin skool opened!

Forest Lake College: none, they're too busy pretending they don't live near Inala

Clayfield College: doesn't matter, those girls will screw anything

Macgregor High: 3 to change the light bulb, 2 to act as interprators so they can understand eachothers languages, 2 to work out why a scotish school has no people from Scotland in it and an extra 3 girls trying to find new ways to make their skirts shorter.

Queensland University of Technology (QUT): 1 to design a nuclear-powered lightbulb that never needs changing, one to figure out how to power the rest of Brisbane using that nuked lightbulb, 1 to change the lighbulb, 1 to crack under the pressure, 10 to share the experience, 5 to write a report on the importance of lighbulbs in today modern society, 50 to protest the lightbulb's right to not change, 25 to hold a counter-protest, 1 to write the computer program that controls the wall switch, the whole creative industries faculty that to commemorate the event with an interpretative song and dance routine, 20 that turned up for the extra 6 credit points, 1 to hand out the coffee and guarana refreshments, 5 that stumbled over from the bar to see if theer is going to be a party, and 1 to say loudly how a QUT student can change a lighbulb just as well as any Griffith student (it a whole campus affair)

Rosewood High: if they're anything like Jacqui, they'll just be standing around ringing BRISSIE people asking 'What does that mean? Lightbulb what?'

Sunnybank High: Well once they find out Macgregor has 'changed' a lightbulb, they'll have to get the whole school to change all of theirs, before bashing up the Macgregor 'changers' in the pathway upto Garden City.

STMC: 10... 5 guys to try and work out how they actually screw in a lightbulb, their gurlfriends standing behind bitching about how gurls at Clairvaux/Sunnybank/Macgregor/Browns Plains are such sluts, and a few others just standing around trying to convince people that their school REALLY is a private school ('see it says college!')

Park Ridge High: The whole 'How to change a Lightbulb' class... its right after there 'Teenage Pregnancy' class and right before 'How not to look stoned at School' class...

Browns Plains High: None... they're all over at the 'Grand' Plaza hanging around the bus station

St. James: 5...One chick to change it and 2 other chicks to give their boyfriends blow jobs on a park bench.

Holland Park High: all of them...the schools the biggest shit heaP that no one could care less but they would all go and hide and smoke pot.

Whites Hill College: none...They are too busy wondering why the hell they'd change the name of the school to make it sound remotely sofisticated when clearly it's not!

Send this on to all of your high school friends!

情人~別人的比較好？!

2003-05-09T22:59:00.000+10:00

情人~別人的比較好？! 陶子

阿鵑的男友，身高180，不管穿西裝或休閒衫，看起來都那麼挺拔；
在國外讀過書的他，非常有紳士風度，不但會幫忙開車門、拉椅子、
提東西、還熱情的常把「我愛你」掛在嘴上；
情人節、生日、紀念日從不忘記，蠟燭鮮花小鑽戒，他從不吝嗇，
阿娟有這樣的男友，真令人羨慕。

小芬的男友，看起來帥氣又帶點頹廢，
留及肩膀的長髮加上一點鬍渣，叼起煙來迷死人。
他會接送小芬上下班，陪小芬去買菜，
偶爾還會帶小芬上山下海找浪漫，看城市的星光或者樹林間的雲海，
當流星劃過，他會深情地看著小芬：
「我剛許了個願，要生生世世和妳在一起。」
更別提二人開車到平溪，在天燈上寫著天長地久，
然後頭靠著頭地一起目送它飄上天際，所有的姐姐妹妹們羨慕死了，羨慕死了。

小貓有個脾氣很好的情人，她生氣的時候他在一旁哄著；
她發火的時候他靜靜地遞上一杯果汁；她嘮叨的時候他不回一句話；
等小貓氣消了，他會給她一個深深的擁抱，仿佛一切都沒發生過。
他總是非常溫柔地照顧著小貓、小貓的家人、小貓的狗。
只要他有空，總是戴著棒球帽，跟在小貓身旁，像個守護神般地隨伺在候。

別人的情人，總是那麼好。
不是太帥太體貼，就是太有錢太浪漫，難怪姐妹門聚在一起總是說：
「好的單身男人都名花有主，要不就是Gay!」
聽起來，真有一種颱風來衝到便利商店，發現泡麵和吐司都被搶光的悔恨。

真的只是因為動作比別人慢嗎？
或者只是像英國作家艾倫.狄波頓以馬克司主義來解釋愛情，
只要在自己手中的，都沒別人的好。

是妳的情人不夠好，還是自己有問題？
是不是一個人活得太久，而忘了如何與別人相處？
是不是太以自我為中心而忘了別人的感受？

妳知道嗎？
阿娟的男友其實是靠家裡吃飯的公子哥兒，每找一份工作就嫌累，
不出一個星期，就又辭職繼續遊手好閒；有時候，阿娟也希望他有點骨氣。

小芬的男友其實沒什麼財務觀念，
自己一個月的薪水不夠花，還會伸手向小芬要錢，
另外，他的母親更是為了錢常向他們叨唸，還三番兩次地向小芬「暗示」：
「我們家兒子不是沒錢成家，因為他要養我……」弄得小芬一愣一愣的。

小貓的男友倒還好，有工作、有積蓄、有責任感、沒有愛錢的媽媽。
小貓和男友「唯一」的問題是，已經快一年沒有性生活了。
他容易累，身體不太好，對做愛興趣缺缺………..。
問小貓自己想不想？小貓無奈的嘆了口氣：「想又能怎樣？他不要啊…….」
於是我們明白了，情人之間不是只有手牽手衣冠楚楚的樣子；
情人之間不是只有幫忙開車門、一起點天燈的那一瞬間，
情人也是人，都有弱點，都有煩人的家人、工作、習慣，
或者，還有不可告人的秘密。

妳還覺得，別人的情人都那麼好嗎？

Exam Stress

2003-03-19T21:56:00.000+10:00

Same photo, different picture

2003-03-18T19:03:00.000+10:00

The two photos are the same. Can you tell?

他大概會很慘吧

2003-03-15T22:13:00.000+10:00

他大概會很慘吧

我有同事喝醉了，硬拉我們去卡拉OK，還說誰不去就跟誰吵，我們沒辦法把他扶上車，
往他家直奔了去，騙他說是去卡拉OK.

到了他家，他老婆開的門，他一把抱住他老婆還笑嘻嘻的對我們說：這小姐挺漂亮
的，有點像我老婆！他老婆臉色頓時就變了，只是看我們在沒有發作，就回睡房了.

那老兄招呼我們到客廳坐著,要我們點歌，然後對我們說他上個廁所，進了廁所不到一分鐘，他家的電話就響起來了，他老婆出來接的電話，沒聽半分鐘就“啪”的把電話給摔了，接著那老兄就從廁所出來了，對我們興高采烈的叫道：兄弟們，今晚好好的玩吧，我已經打電話回家說我今晚加班不回來了.

How to Recycle Your Used Mouse and Keyboard (cool!!)

2003-03-12T21:35:00.000+10:00

朋友 - 真正的v.s.普通的

2003-03-12T19:09:00.000+10:00

真正的v.s.普通的

一個普通的朋友從未看過你哭泣。一個真正的朋友有雙肩讓你的淚水濕盡。

一個普通的朋友不知道你父母的姓氏。一個真正的朋友有他們的電話在通訊錄上。

一個普通的朋友會帶瓶葡萄酒參加你的派對。一個真正的朋友會早點來幫你準備並且為了幫你打掃而晚點走。

一個普通的朋友討厭你在他睡了後打來。一個真正的朋友會問為什麼現在才打來。

一個普通的朋友找你談論你的困擾。一個真正的朋友找你解決你的困擾。

一個普通的朋友對你的羅曼史感到好奇。一個真正的朋友可以威脅你說出來。

一個普通的朋友在拜訪時，像一個客人一樣。一個真正的朋友會打開冰箱自己拿東西。

一個普通的朋友在吵架後就認為友誼已經結束。一個真正的朋友明白當你們還沒打過架就不叫真正的友誼。

一個普通的朋友期望你永遠在他身邊陪他。一個真正的朋友期望他能永遠陪在你身旁！

把這篇傳給任何你關心的人-如果有傳回給你代表你已經找到真正的朋友了！球是一個圈子，沒有起始，也沒有結束。它把我們結合在一起，像一圈子的朋友。但是留給你去看的秘密寶藏就是你給予我的珍貴友誼。今天我把友誼的球傳遞給你, 請你傳給任何一位你的朋友.

A Very Smart Multimillionaire

2003-03-12T19:03:00.000+10:00

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The blonde replies....."Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

Finally, a smart blonde joke.

Be aware no matter where you are ...

2003-03-10T18:18:00.000+10:00

Be aware no matter where you are ...

NIGHT CLUB RAPE

A woman at a prominent Auckland nightclub on Saturday night (01March) was taken by 5 men, who according to hospital and police reports, gang raped her before dumping her naked up North. Unable to remember the events of the evening, tests later confirmed the repeat rapes along with traces of Rohypnol in her blood.

Boyfriends and girlfriends, take heed. Progesterex, that is an essentially a small sterilisation pill. The drug is now being used by rapists at parties to rape AND sterilize their victims.

Progesterex is available to vets to sterilize large animals. Rumour has it that the Progesterex is being used together with Rohypnol, the date rape drug. As with Rohypnol, all they have to do is drop it into the girl's drink. The girl can't remember a thing the next morning, of all that had taken place the night before Progesterex, which dissolves in drinks just as easily, is such that the victim doesn't conceive from the rape and the rapist needn't worry about having a paternity test identifying him months later.

The drug's affects ARE NOT TEMPORARY - They are P*E*R*M*A*N*E*N*T

Progesterex was designed to sterilize horses. Any female that takes it WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO CONCEIVE.

The weasels can get this drug from anyone who is in the vet school or any university. It's that easy, and Progesterex is about to break out big on campuses everywhere. Believe it or not there is even a site on the internet showing people how to use it. Please forward this to everyone you know, especially girls.

Be careful when you're out and don't leave your drink unattended. Please make the effort to forward this on to all you know.

*pretty scary huh?*

GOD

2003-03-07T22:57:00.000+10:00

IF SOMEONE HAD A GUN HELD IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE AND ASKED YOU IF YOU BELIEVED IN GOD, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? SAY NO AND FEEL ASHAMED THE REST OF YOUR LIFE? OR SAY YES, I DO, AND DIE STANDING UP FOR GOD? IF YOU'D SAY NO, THEN DELETE THIS E-MAIL. IF YOU WOULD SAY YES, AND STAND UP FOR JESUS CHRIST, PLEASE READ THIS AND PASS ON.

Note: This is a true article that was printed in a southern newspaper less then a year ago

TAKE A DEEP BREATH BEFORE READING THIS

There was an atheist couple who had a child. The couple never told their daughter anything about the Lord. One night when the little girl was 5 years old, the parents fought with each other and the dad shot the Mom, right in front of the child. Then, the dad shot ! himself. The little girl watched it all. She then was sent to a foster home. The foster mother was a Christian and took the child to church. On the first day of Sunday School, the foster mother told the teacher that the girl had never heard of Jesus, and to have patience with her. The teacher held up a picture of Jesus and said, "Does anyone know who this is?" The little girl said, "I do, that's the man who was holding me the night my parents died."

If you believe this little girl is telling the truth that even though she had never heard of Jesus, he still held her the night her parents died, then you will forward this to as many people as you can.

Or you can delete it as if it never touched your heart.

Funny, isn't it?

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell.

Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says.

Funny how everyone wants to go to heaven provided they do not have to believe, think, say, or do anything the Bible says. (Or is it scary?)

Funny how someone can say "I believe in God" but still follow Satan (who, by the way, also "believes" in God).

Funny how you can send a thousand 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.

Funny how the lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but the public discussion of Jesus is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Funny how someone can be so fired up for Christ on Sunday, but be an invisible Christian the rest of the week. (Are you laughing?)

Funny how when you go to forward this message,you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it to them. be more worried about what other people think of me than what God thinks of me. (Are you thinking?)

Pass this on only if you mean it.

Yes, I do Love God

XD funni

2003-02-25T18:03:00.000+10:00

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an
animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at
first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say
the following:

"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come
once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee
twice. Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.
"In this country....we don't speak aloud in pubic places about our sex
lives........."

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a
justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

I BET YOU READ THIS AGAIN!!

Anti Valentine

2003-02-20T00:06:00.000+10:00

Some people might actually be able to relate to this...

These are entries to a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but least romantic second line... Enjoy!

ANTI VALENTINE

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you, because I was p!ssed.

I thought that I could love no other,
Until, that is, I met your brother.

Of loving beauty you float with grace,
If only you could hide your face.

I want to feel your sweet embrace,
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes,
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife,
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming,
That's why I always wake up screaming.

My love you take my breath away,
What have you stepped in to smell this way.

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell".

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet, and so are you.

The roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Inspirations for the New Year

2003-02-08T22:34:00.000+10:00

1. Set a Goal for yourself
2. Smile as often as you can
3. Share your happiness
4. Be ready to help "people"
5. Be childish
6. Learn to live in harmony with different people
7. Keep your humour
8. Do not be afraid under difficult situations
9. Forgive, Yes, Forgive
10. Cherish real friendship
11. Be cooperative and enjoy team work
12. Do not ignore your loved one
13. Be confident
14. Respect the weak
15. Spoil yourself occasionally
16. Do your favourite internet thing at least at lunch in the office
17. Be brave and try new things
18. Do not take money too seriously

"Family" stands for...

2003-01-05T17:21:00.000+10:00

This is so true........

Are you aware that if we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than into our own family, an unwise investment indeed, don't you think? So what is behind the story?

Do you know what the word FAMILY means?
FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU

Dragonfly... True love 你的肩上有蜻蜓嗎?

2002-11-23T23:04:00.000+10:00

送你一朵玫瑰

2002-11-23T22:15:00.000+10:00

----<----<--<({@ ----<----<--<({@{@
----<----<--<({@----<--<--<({@----<--<--<({@--<----<--<({@
----<----<--<({@ ----<----<--<({@ ----<----<--<({@
----<----<--<({@ ----<----<--<{@
----<----<--<({@ ----<----<--<({@
----<----<--<({@ ----<----<--<({@
----<----<--<({@ ----<----<--<({@
----<----<--<({@ ----<----<--<({@
----<----<--<({@ ----<----<--<({@
----<----<--<({@ ----<----<--<({@
----<----<--<({@ ----<----<--<({@
----<----<--<({@ ----<----<--<({@
----<----<--<({@ ----<----<--<({@
--<--<--<({@--<--<--<({@
--<--<--<({@

前幾天我收到朋友送的一些玫瑰花

我只留下一朵
其它的都轉送給人了

一朵送給一位當時情緒低落的朋友
這朵小花給他的助益
遠超過我所能想像

一朵給一位認識不久的朋友
當時她正在困境中掙扎
希望這樣能幫助她繼續前進

其它的花送給曾經協助過我的人
在我非常憂鬱的日子裡
他們的出現
是那麼的令人鼓舞

這些玫瑰是如此美麗
　以致於我不忍將他們全部佔為己有
只留下那唯一一枝含苞待放的

我的朋友送給我這些花
期待它們讓我的生活愉快
但是我收到最大的喜悅
卻是在於將它們轉送出去的過程中

這朵是送給你的，喜歡嗎？

朋友是稀世珍寶
他們能讓你微笑
鼓勵你獲致成功

他們借給你一對耳朵
和你分享讚美之語
他們總是對我們敞開心扉

Kids' philosophy on relationships (cute stuff)

2002-11-18T21:28:00.000+10:00

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff.
Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and sheshould keep the chips and dip coming.
* Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up whom they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later, who you're stuck with.
* Kirsten, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
* Camille, age 10

No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get
married.
* Freddie, age 6 (Very wise for his age)

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
* Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don't want any more kids.
* Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
* Lynnette, age 8 (Isn't she a treasure?)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
* Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
* Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
* Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
* Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
* Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
* Anita, age 9 (Bless you, child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
* Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favourite is ...
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck.
* Ricky, age 10

A real meaningful piece...

2002-11-12T21:19:00.000+10:00

Stupid Bear

2002-10-30T23:14:00.000+10:00

Benefits of sex!!!!!!!!!!!

2002-10-27T22:36:00.000+10:00

Benefits of sex!!!!!!!!!!!

Did you know that you can tell from the skin whether a person is sexually active or not?

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.

2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.

3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.

4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!

5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.

6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!

7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.

8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.

9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.

10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

一宗意外...

2002-09-15T20:49:00.000+10:00

告訴你一宗意外
這是一個早上，媽媽正在?房清洗早餐的碗碟。她有一個四歲的小
孩子，自得其樂地在沙發上玩耍。不久之後，媽媽聽到孩子的哭啼聲
。究竟發生什麼事呢？媽媽還沒有將手抹乾，就衝出去客廳看看孩子
去了哪裡。
原來，孩子仍坐在沙發上；但是，他的手卻插進了放在茶几上的花
樽裡。花樽是上窄下闊的一款，所以，他的手伸了入去，但伸不出來
。母親用了不同的辦法，把卡著了的手拿出來，但都不得要領。媽媽
開始焦急，她稍為用力一點，小孩子就痛得叫苦連天。
在無計可施的情況下，媽媽想了一個下策，就是把花樽打碎。可是
她稍有猶豫，因為這個花樽不是普通的花樽，而是一件價值連城的古
董。不過，為了兒子的手能夠拔出，這是唯一的辦法。結果，她忍痛
將花樽打破了。
雖然損失不菲，但兒子平平安安，媽媽也就不太計較了。她叫兒子
將手伸給她看看有沒有損傷。雖然孩子完全沒有任何皮外傷，但他的
拳頭仍是緊握住似的無法張開。是不是抽筋呢？媽媽又再驚惶失措。
原來，小孩子的手不是抽筋。他的拳頭張不開，是因為他緊捉著一
個十元硬幣。他是為了拾這一個硬幣，所以令手卡在花樽的口內。
小孩子的手伸不出來，其實，不是因為花樽口太窄，而是因為他不肯放手。
感情的事，很多時都是盲目的。你曾為他做的事，當日，你是多麼
的覺得天經地義；今天，你卻感到荒謬到極。盲目是幸福的，只要盲
目能維持一生一世。
問題是，有一天，我和你都會像小孩子一樣，發現自己被感情問題
卡住了，動彈不得。問題出現了，你煩得天都要倒下來。你希望尋求
方法解脫，但全都徒勞。別人說：「問題不是你所想的複雜，只是你
肯放手就解決了。」你卻偏偏不肯放手。
這時，你不會想：「這樣值不值？」你只會自問：「我還愛不愛？
」只要是愛，你覺得再沒有甚麼要猶豫。你會很努力解決彼此之間的
問題。你一直守下去，你不會放手。
其實，放手就立刻解決問題，只是大家都逃避這個事實。你寧願受
著牢籠，都不願解脫。
「這段感情值得這樣磨下去嗎？」你的朋友會勸你放棄。你不相信
，這份愛，只是一枚十元硬幣。你忍痛執著這份感情，不惜代價，消
耗了許多眼淚，虛度了不少的歲月，粉碎了很多機會。
放手，帶來更大的釋放。為了區區十元，打碎了一個古董花樽，小
孩子當時不會了解，也不會後悔，因為那時資訊全。他不了解他執著
那個硬幣的機會成本是那麼大。
他長大了之後，才會了解花樽的價值，才會明白自己昔日的愚昧。
你固執感情，不肯放手；我只好惟願你不會長大，一生都不會後悔。

我想~ 人不只有在面對感情時會如此~
常常在遇到很多的人、事、物時也會~
學習放下~ :)

人生愈簡單愈快樂，
愈單純愈幸福

我突然感到巨大的寂寞,一個人走進黑暗裡,並決定離開你。
那一夜,繁星滿天,我確定你並沒有喊我。

日環食: 浴火之環

2002-08-12T23:26:00.001+10:00

2002 年 6 月 10 日美國

日環食: 浴火之環
影像版權與提供 : Dennis Mammana (Skyscapes)

美國時間的6月10日，有少數的幸運兒看到一只 "浴火之環"。那是指當出現日環食時，太陽被月亮遮住的景象。當達此種日食的食甚時，太陽的中間部分好像消失了，灰暗的月亮則像是整個被耀眼的太陽包圍。不過這次只有位於太平洋上一狹長地帶的民眾才有此眼福，大部分區域-包括亞洲東部和北美洲西部，多只能目睹月亮將太陽吃掉一小塊。在東亞，初升起的太陽將在 6 月11日清晨發生偏食；同時，在大部分的北美洲，會看到6月10日的夕陽發生同樣的日偏食現象。請千萬記得絕對不要直視太陽，即使它當時正被月亮遮掩住。當月球行進到繞地運行的橢圓軌道的較遠端，這時將發生日環食，而非日全食。下一次的日環食將發生在 2003 年五月，而日全食則會在今年十二月初與民眾見面。上圖的照片攝於 1992 年一月，攝影師透過棕櫚樹，拍下這樣一幅壯觀的日環食照片。

給那些經常半夜不睡覺的人

2002-08-08T18:45:00.000+10:00

☆給那些經常半夜不睡覺的人!!☆

前幾天不是交大也損失了三個教授嗎？
大家好好保重自己喔！...
這件事是真的，因為我妹妹就在聯旭當設計，死掉的人都還是她熟悉的同事。

她同事死前每天加班到早上六點才回家，睡到中午又回公司繼續上班，連續五天最後一天睡一睡就沒醒過來了，死前都很健康無任何心臟方面的疾病。其實這已
經是她們公司第三個過勞死的了，希望大家能隨時注意自己的身體狀況。

對了，今天聽到一個悲傷的消息。廣告界的好青年，又掛了一人了。此人是聯旭的，是業務還是設計我也搞不清楚，來過我們公司幾次。前幾天在連續加班後的
某晚，回家睡覺後第二天就叫不醒，掛了。奇快的是，約二個月前，也是聯旭的一位女生業務，也是這樣，不過她是離職後第二天，還是第幾天，睡
一覺就起不來了。醫生說是猝死，推測是過勞。總之，昨天和前天，晚上九點聯旭就全部關燈，大家都不加班了。大家要好好保重身體呢。

那兩名掛掉的都是六十幾年次的。
年輕力壯無宿疾呢.............
發生跡象：原本一向身體健康，時常運動（打籃球）但在近日連續熬夜數晚，經過數日後，突然第二天起床會覺得很疲勞！一閉眼就想睡覺！（跟前一日熬夜的
感覺不同），而且會腰酸背痛，但一到晚上精神又好起來！別以為這是小事！

根據中醫的看法，是因過勞而造成體內器官陰陽失調，就是體內器官起內訌，互相打架，最後造成器官衰竭而死，所以希望你不是下一個！

醫生建議：晚上10：00前最好上床休息，中午盡可能睡半小時到一小時的午覺(午睡一小時抵過晚上睡3小時），年輕人一天至少要睡足八小時！

那些經常半夜不睡覺的人，收到沒！收到就早點睡啦！

☆P.S.為了大家健康請轉寄給你的朋友~~~謝謝☆

一張0.1mm的紙

2002-06-20T23:48:00.000+10:00

今天是個特別的日子....許多人聚集在這....為了祝福而來。經過了這麼久的日子後，妳終於接受了我的求婚，答應和我共渡下半輩子的生活。

和妳交往到現在共4年7個月又10天，一千六百多個日子裡....我們共同擁有了許許多多的回憶，還記得嗎？當我好不容易開口對妳告白時....妳說的話？

「如果我愛你並不如你愛我的那麼多，你還願意嗎？」，也不知自己是哪裡來的勇氣，我居然回答：「沒關係，我會想辦法讓妳愛上我的」，就這樣，我們開始交往。

當時的這段帶點荒謬的感情，並沒有多少人看好，有人說我只是妳的生活調劑品；也有人說我只是妳玩弄感情的對象，在大眾輿論之下，倍感壓力的我曾經也萌生了放棄的念頭，只是不知哪來的力量支持著我，讓我撐了過來，也幸虧當時的我並沒有因為一時衝動做下了錯誤的決定....如今才有機會和妳今生守候.....

剛開始交往的時候，我們並不像一般熱戀期的情侶，反而比較像朋友。我們之間也沒有什麼親蜜動作，理性的成份絕大於感性的成份。就連我想牽妳的手，也都被妳技巧性的閃躲掉了，當然我知道原因：因為妳愛我並不如我愛你多，所以妳也不確定妳愛我多少。總是我打電話給妳，而電話中我唱的獨角戲也比妳給我的回應還要多出許多；約會的日期、時間總是我在定，而一起出去時，妳只是靜靜跟在我的旁邊....如果我沒有開口約妳或是打電話給妳，我們就幾乎斷了連絡，就像陌生人一般。如果愛情有一段保存期限，那我想這段愛情就像真空包裝沒包好的罐頭，很容易就壞掉......

在愛情中難免都會有磨擦和抱怨出現，只是我一直不敢跟妳說。因為我害怕著，妳本來就不是那麼愛我了，如果因此離開我怎麼辦？所以我只敢跟自己的死黨訴苦。只不過這段時間相處下來，我的熱情已有一些些消退了，我得承認我是需要多一些些愛、多一些肯定的....必竟我也是個有感覺的人。死黨聽完我的歇斯底里之後，只是淡淡的說：

「一張0.1 mm的紙，反覆折疊42次，它的高度，就能到達月球」。

起初我不並不明白這一句話的意思....而終於在交往6個月又13天之後的晚上，妳傳了第一個訊息給我，上面只是兩個字「晚安」；而在交往後的10個月，第一次打電話到我家給我；在交往的1年又2個月後，第一次主動約我出去....在交往2年之後的某一天我因為車禍腳受傷，妳得知消息後，不顧現在是凌晨1 點，急急忙忙氣喘呼呼的跑到我家來，在得知我沒事之後，又照顧了我2天....我終於明白，原來死黨的那一句話就是要告訴我，感情是一段累積的過程。

原來妳並不是都沒有給我肯定，至少妳給我了機會和妳交往；至少，在大眾輿論之下，妳依然站在原地，並沒有逃避我的追求....

至少....妳慢慢的累積妳對我的感情....至少....妳是在我的身邊.........

死黨是我和妳的証婚人，也同時是我們愛情的最佳見証人，一路看著我們走過來，這時候他辛慰的笑了。為妳套上生平的第一顆鑽戒；對妳說了不是第一次說，但卻是最認真一次的我愛妳....

低頭給了妳一個允諾的吻...一見鍾情的感覺或許很美；但長期累積的感覺得更讓人覺得迷醉。也許現在的妳愛我依然不如我愛妳來的多，但我知道，這段距離一直在縮小著.....直到歸零.....

愛情的世界沒有所謂的公不公平，只有後不後悔交付出真心，值不值得傾盡真意．既然我選擇了和妳並肩而行，就不會讓妳擔負壓力．真正的愛情不是那無益的甜言蜜語，而是如何讓情人保持著一顆快樂的心，讓妳快樂是我的使命，讓妳微笑是我最在意的事情．受傷的妳可以來到我的懷裡，即使傷癒後的妳會離我而去，我依然會在背後守候著妳，讓妳綻放出美麗．

只願妳............ 記得我的深情

感情是慢慢累積的！一張0.1 mm的紙，反覆折疊42次，它的高度，就能到達月球妳能體會這句話的意思嗎，看完這篇文章，妳就能了解！