This is what the sign intended...from left to right..
*injured arm* *holding toddlers* *pregnant women* *injured leg* have priorities to the seat...
好容易令人誤會
從左到右
手受傷,抱小孩,孕婦,腿受傷,可以坐優先座
Sunday, 2 November 2003
Japan's Subway Signs...
This is what the sign intended...from left to right..
*injured arm* *holding toddlers* *pregnant women* *injured leg* have priorities to the seat...
好容易令人誤會
從左到右
手受傷,抱小孩,孕婦,腿受傷,可以坐優先座
Sunday, 21 September 2003
男人的問題是!!
男人的問題是：
如果妳對他好，他說妳愛上他了．
對他不好，他說妳驕傲．
如果妳穿得很漂亮，他說你企圖誘惑他．
如果不，他說妳是鄉下來的
如果跟他理論，他說妳固執
如果妳沈默，他說妳沒大腦！
如果妳比他聰明，他沒面子
如果他比你聰明，他很棒！
如果妳不愛他，他想擁有妳
如果妳愛他，他試著離開妳．
如果妳不跟他做愛，他說妳不愛他
如果跟他做，他說你是賤貨！
如果妳告訴他妳的問題，他說妳麻煩
如果不，他說妳不信任他
如果妳罵他，妳好像他奶媽
如果他罵妳，是表示他“關心”妳
如果妳沒有守承諾，妳是不可信的人
如果他不守承諾，他是不得以的
如果妳吸煙，妳是壞女人
如果他吸煙，他是紳士
如果妳考試成績好，他說是運氣
如果他考得好，他說是實力！
如果妳傷害他，表示妳很殘忍
如果他傷害妳，表示妳太敏感而且太難取悅！
如果你寄這封信給男生，他們會發誓以上是不正確的．．
如果你不寄給他們，他們說妳自私．．
如果妳對他好，他說妳愛上他了．
對他不好，他說妳驕傲．
如果妳穿得很漂亮，他說你企圖誘惑他．
如果不，他說妳是鄉下來的
如果跟他理論，他說妳固執
如果妳沈默，他說妳沒大腦！
如果妳比他聰明，他沒面子
如果他比你聰明，他很棒！
如果妳不愛他，他想擁有妳
如果妳愛他，他試著離開妳．
如果妳不跟他做愛，他說妳不愛他
如果跟他做，他說你是賤貨！
如果妳告訴他妳的問題，他說妳麻煩
如果不，他說妳不信任他
如果妳罵他，妳好像他奶媽
如果他罵妳，是表示他“關心”妳
如果妳沒有守承諾，妳是不可信的人
如果他不守承諾，他是不得以的
如果妳吸煙，妳是壞女人
如果他吸煙，他是紳士
如果妳考試成績好，他說是運氣
如果他考得好，他說是實力！
如果妳傷害他，表示妳很殘忍
如果他傷害妳，表示妳太敏感而且太難取悅！
如果你寄這封信給男生，他們會發誓以上是不正確的．．
如果你不寄給他們，他們說妳自私．．
Thursday, 14 August 2003
Saturday, 9 August 2003
Brisbane High Schools - How Many Students...
HOW MANY STUDENTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB AT...
Churchie: Two - one to call the electrician and one to call daddy to pay the bill.
CHAC: Only one, but they get 6 demerit points for breaking it in the first place.
Moreton Bay College: One - she holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
Lourdes Hill: Eleven - one to screw it and ten to support its sexual orientation.
Balmoral: Three - one to change it and two to try and figure out if you can get high off the old one.
St. Laurie's: Ten - one to change it, one back up if the first guy's too drunk and the other eight to pray that it works.
Kelvin Grove (Queensland Dance School of Excellence): Five - one to change the bulb and four to do an interpretative dance about it.
Carmel C ollege: Seven - one to change the light bulb and six to throw a party because he didn't screw it in upside down this time.
Wynnum North: None they don't have light bulbs...they are too fucked up...people smash them and try to kill them selves with them but if you told someone there was a broken light bulb they would probably try to fix it even though there isn't one there because they are so stoned to get light bulbs for the school!
Sommerville: None - with fluoro green uniforms, its better in the dark.
BBC: Seven - one to change it and the other 6 to stand around playing soggy sao's while he does it.
Iona: Five - one to change it, 3 to stare at his arse while he does it and 2 to burn a hedge down, just for the hell of it.
Girls Grammar: Five - one to change the bulb, one to make sure her nails don't break, one to curl her hair, one to make sure her outfit matches the light and one to make sure her shoes match as well.
Nudgee: None - they don't have any money left after all the imports.
Toowoomba Grammar: none - they don't have electricity yet.
All Hallows: Four - one to change it and the other three to bitch about what a shit job she did.
Terrace: Two - one to screw it in, and the other to gel his hair while he does it.
Villanova: Two - one to fix it an d one to look in a dictionary to discover what the heck a "light bulb" is anyway.
Ipswich Grammar: None - they can't find a shop selling light bulbs within a 200km radius of Ipswich.
St. Eddies: just one guy to make the lightbulb fall in love with him... but it dont matter cause he'll just go screw some other lightbulb anyway...
Boys Grammar: Twenty One - one to change the bulb and 20 to hang out at the Queen Street Mall...
Brisbane State High: Ten - one to change it, one to break the old one and stab the guy fixing the light cause he looked at him 'funny' and a crew of eight to fight them both for no particular reason.
Wynnum State High: Thirty One - one chic to actually change it, fifteen guys to look up her skirt, ten guys to see if they have enough money to pay her for a one night stand and five to smoke pot while they are skipping class.
MSM College: None - they call the Marist guys and get them to do it for them.
Marist Ashgrove: None - they return the call and get the MSM girls to return the favor.
Ferny Grove: None, their tree friends help them out.
Stuartholme: 5, one to screw the bulb, 2 to hold her up there and the other two to hold the chair that the first two are on.
Mitchelton State High: none - why waste money on light bulbs when they can waste it on their cricket fields?? (or fencing in their "students/animals")
Loretto College: First you gotta find the blasted place (hint: Year 10 Marist Dancing Lessons... remind most of you?
Loretto College: 10, 3 to change the light bulb, two to sit on their arses watching and 5 to sit around wishing their boyfriends where there to help.
Redlands College: 1 to ask Mr patterson if they can... wait while he asks god if its ok oops none coz mr patterson (and god) would say no co z it promotes sex.
St. Mary's: i dunno... but i'm sure they'll make it into an act at their musical next year.. at least it would be more interesting then this year...
Malanda High: the entire skool population coz its the most exciting thing thats happened there since the freakin skool opened!
Forest Lake College: none, they're too busy pretending they don't live near Inala
Clayfield College: doesn't matter, those girls will screw anything
Macgregor High: 3 to change the light bulb, 2 to act as interprators so they can understand eachothers languages, 2 to work out why a scotish school has no people from Scotland in it and an extra 3 girls trying to find new ways to make their skirts shorter.
Queensland University of Technology (QUT): 1 to design a nuclear-powered lightbulb that never needs changing, one to figure out how to power the rest of Brisbane using that nuked lightbulb, 1 to change the lighbulb, 1 to crack under the pressure, 10 to share the experience, 5 to write a report on the importance of lighbulbs in today modern society, 50 to protest the lightbulb's right to not change, 25 to hold a counter-protest, 1 to write the computer program that controls the wall switch, the whole creative industries faculty that to commemorate the event with an interpretative song and dance routine, 20 that turned up for the extra 6 credit points, 1 to hand out the coffee and guarana refreshments, 5 that stumbled over from the bar to see if theer is going to be a party, and 1 to say loudly how a QUT student can change a lighbulb just as well as any Griffith student (it a whole campus affair)
Rosewood High: if they're anything like Jacqui, they'll just be standing around ringing BRISSIE people asking 'What does that mean? Lightbulb what?'
Sunnybank High: Well once they find out Macgregor has 'changed' a lightbulb, they'll have to get the whole school to change all of theirs, before bashing up the Macgregor 'changers' in the pathway upto Garden City.
STMC: 10... 5 guys to try and work out how they actually screw in a lightbulb, their gurlfriends standing behind bitching about how gurls at Clairvaux/Sunnybank/Macgregor/Browns Plains are such sluts, and a few others just standing around trying to convince people that their school REALLY is a private school ('see it says college!')
Park Ridge High: The whole 'How to change a Lightbulb' class... its right after there 'Teenage Pregnancy' class and right before 'How not to look stoned at School' class...
Browns Plains High: None... they're all over at the 'Grand' Plaza hanging around the bus station
St. James: 5...One chick to change it and 2 other chicks to give their boyfriends blow jobs on a park bench.
Holland Park High: all of them...the schools the biggest shit heaP that no one could care less but they would all go and hide and smoke pot.
Whites Hill College: none...They are too busy wondering why the hell they'd change the name of the school to make it sound remotely sofisticated when clearly it's not!
Send this on to all of your high school friends!
Churchie: Two - one to call the electrician and one to call daddy to pay the bill.
CHAC: Only one, but they get 6 demerit points for breaking it in the first place.
Moreton Bay College: One - she holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
Lourdes Hill: Eleven - one to screw it and ten to support its sexual orientation.
Balmoral: Three - one to change it and two to try and figure out if you can get high off the old one.
St. Laurie's: Ten - one to change it, one back up if the first guy's too drunk and the other eight to pray that it works.
Kelvin Grove (Queensland Dance School of Excellence): Five - one to change the bulb and four to do an interpretative dance about it.
Carmel C ollege: Seven - one to change the light bulb and six to throw a party because he didn't screw it in upside down this time.
Wynnum North: None they don't have light bulbs...they are too fucked up...people smash them and try to kill them selves with them but if you told someone there was a broken light bulb they would probably try to fix it even though there isn't one there because they are so stoned to get light bulbs for the school!
Sommerville: None - with fluoro green uniforms, its better in the dark.
BBC: Seven - one to change it and the other 6 to stand around playing soggy sao's while he does it.
Iona: Five - one to change it, 3 to stare at his arse while he does it and 2 to burn a hedge down, just for the hell of it.
Girls Grammar: Five - one to change the bulb, one to make sure her nails don't break, one to curl her hair, one to make sure her outfit matches the light and one to make sure her shoes match as well.
Nudgee: None - they don't have any money left after all the imports.
Toowoomba Grammar: none - they don't have electricity yet.
All Hallows: Four - one to change it and the other three to bitch about what a shit job she did.
Terrace: Two - one to screw it in, and the other to gel his hair while he does it.
Villanova: Two - one to fix it an d one to look in a dictionary to discover what the heck a "light bulb" is anyway.
Ipswich Grammar: None - they can't find a shop selling light bulbs within a 200km radius of Ipswich.
St. Eddies: just one guy to make the lightbulb fall in love with him... but it dont matter cause he'll just go screw some other lightbulb anyway...
Boys Grammar: Twenty One - one to change the bulb and 20 to hang out at the Queen Street Mall...
Brisbane State High: Ten - one to change it, one to break the old one and stab the guy fixing the light cause he looked at him 'funny' and a crew of eight to fight them both for no particular reason.
Wynnum State High: Thirty One - one chic to actually change it, fifteen guys to look up her skirt, ten guys to see if they have enough money to pay her for a one night stand and five to smoke pot while they are skipping class.
MSM College: None - they call the Marist guys and get them to do it for them.
Marist Ashgrove: None - they return the call and get the MSM girls to return the favor.
Ferny Grove: None, their tree friends help them out.
Stuartholme: 5, one to screw the bulb, 2 to hold her up there and the other two to hold the chair that the first two are on.
Mitchelton State High: none - why waste money on light bulbs when they can waste it on their cricket fields?? (or fencing in their "students/animals")
Loretto College: First you gotta find the blasted place (hint: Year 10 Marist Dancing Lessons... remind most of you?
Loretto College: 10, 3 to change the light bulb, two to sit on their arses watching and 5 to sit around wishing their boyfriends where there to help.
Redlands College: 1 to ask Mr patterson if they can... wait while he asks god if its ok oops none coz mr patterson (and god) would say no co z it promotes sex.
St. Mary's: i dunno... but i'm sure they'll make it into an act at their musical next year.. at least it would be more interesting then this year...
Malanda High: the entire skool population coz its the most exciting thing thats happened there since the freakin skool opened!
Forest Lake College: none, they're too busy pretending they don't live near Inala
Clayfield College: doesn't matter, those girls will screw anything
Macgregor High: 3 to change the light bulb, 2 to act as interprators so they can understand eachothers languages, 2 to work out why a scotish school has no people from Scotland in it and an extra 3 girls trying to find new ways to make their skirts shorter.
Queensland University of Technology (QUT): 1 to design a nuclear-powered lightbulb that never needs changing, one to figure out how to power the rest of Brisbane using that nuked lightbulb, 1 to change the lighbulb, 1 to crack under the pressure, 10 to share the experience, 5 to write a report on the importance of lighbulbs in today modern society, 50 to protest the lightbulb's right to not change, 25 to hold a counter-protest, 1 to write the computer program that controls the wall switch, the whole creative industries faculty that to commemorate the event with an interpretative song and dance routine, 20 that turned up for the extra 6 credit points, 1 to hand out the coffee and guarana refreshments, 5 that stumbled over from the bar to see if theer is going to be a party, and 1 to say loudly how a QUT student can change a lighbulb just as well as any Griffith student (it a whole campus affair)
Rosewood High: if they're anything like Jacqui, they'll just be standing around ringing BRISSIE people asking 'What does that mean? Lightbulb what?'
Sunnybank High: Well once they find out Macgregor has 'changed' a lightbulb, they'll have to get the whole school to change all of theirs, before bashing up the Macgregor 'changers' in the pathway upto Garden City.
STMC: 10... 5 guys to try and work out how they actually screw in a lightbulb, their gurlfriends standing behind bitching about how gurls at Clairvaux/Sunnybank/Macgregor/Browns Plains are such sluts, and a few others just standing around trying to convince people that their school REALLY is a private school ('see it says college!')
Park Ridge High: The whole 'How to change a Lightbulb' class... its right after there 'Teenage Pregnancy' class and right before 'How not to look stoned at School' class...
Browns Plains High: None... they're all over at the 'Grand' Plaza hanging around the bus station
St. James: 5...One chick to change it and 2 other chicks to give their boyfriends blow jobs on a park bench.
Holland Park High: all of them...the schools the biggest shit heaP that no one could care less but they would all go and hide and smoke pot.
Whites Hill College: none...They are too busy wondering why the hell they'd change the name of the school to make it sound remotely sofisticated when clearly it's not!
Send this on to all of your high school friends!
Friday, 9 May 2003
情人~別人的比較好？!
情人~別人的比較好？! 陶子
阿鵑的男友，身高180，不管穿西裝或休閒衫，看起來都那麼挺拔；
在國外讀過書的他，非常有紳士風度，不但會幫忙開車門、拉椅子、
提東西、還熱情的常把「我愛你」掛在嘴上；
情人節、生日、紀念日從不忘記，蠟燭鮮花小鑽戒，他從不吝嗇，
阿娟有這樣的男友，真令人羨慕。
小芬的男友，看起來帥氣又帶點頹廢，
留及肩膀的長髮加上一點鬍渣，叼起煙來迷死人。
他會接送小芬上下班，陪小芬去買菜，
偶爾還會帶小芬上山下海找浪漫，看城市的星光或者樹林間的雲海，
當流星劃過，他會深情地看著小芬：
「我剛許了個願，要生生世世和妳在一起。」
更別提二人開車到平溪，在天燈上寫著天長地久，
然後頭靠著頭地一起目送它飄上天際，所有的姐姐妹妹們羨慕死了，羨慕死了。
小貓有個脾氣很好的情人，她生氣的時候他在一旁哄著；
她發火的時候他靜靜地遞上一杯果汁；她嘮叨的時候他不回一句話；
等小貓氣消了，他會給她一個深深的擁抱，仿佛一切都沒發生過。
他總是非常溫柔地照顧著小貓、小貓的家人、小貓的狗。
只要他有空，總是戴著棒球帽，跟在小貓身旁，像個守護神般地隨伺在候。
別人的情人，總是那麼好。
不是太帥太體貼，就是太有錢太浪漫，難怪姐妹門聚在一起總是說：
「好的單身男人都名花有主，要不就是Gay!」
聽起來，真有一種颱風來衝到便利商店，發現泡麵和吐司都被搶光的悔恨。
真的只是因為動作比別人慢嗎？
或者只是像英國作家艾倫.狄波頓以馬克司主義來解釋愛情，
只要在自己手中的，都沒別人的好。
是妳的情人不夠好，還是自己有問題？
是不是一個人活得太久，而忘了如何與別人相處？
是不是太以自我為中心而忘了別人的感受？
妳知道嗎？
阿娟的男友其實是靠家裡吃飯的公子哥兒，每找一份工作就嫌累，
不出一個星期，就又辭職繼續遊手好閒；有時候，阿娟也希望他有點骨氣。
小芬的男友其實沒什麼財務觀念，
自己一個月的薪水不夠花，還會伸手向小芬要錢，
另外，他的母親更是為了錢常向他們叨唸，還三番兩次地向小芬「暗示」：
「我們家兒子不是沒錢成家，因為他要養我……」弄得小芬一愣一愣的。
小貓的男友倒還好，有工作、有積蓄、有責任感、沒有愛錢的媽媽。
小貓和男友「唯一」的問題是，已經快一年沒有性生活了。
他容易累，身體不太好，對做愛興趣缺缺………..。
問小貓自己想不想？小貓無奈的嘆了口氣：「想又能怎樣？他不要啊…….」
於是我們明白了，情人之間不是只有手牽手衣冠楚楚的樣子；
情人之間不是只有幫忙開車門、一起點天燈的那一瞬間，
情人也是人，都有弱點，都有煩人的家人、工作、習慣，
或者，還有不可告人的秘密。
妳還覺得，別人的情人都那麼好嗎？
阿鵑的男友，身高180，不管穿西裝或休閒衫，看起來都那麼挺拔；
在國外讀過書的他，非常有紳士風度，不但會幫忙開車門、拉椅子、
提東西、還熱情的常把「我愛你」掛在嘴上；
情人節、生日、紀念日從不忘記，蠟燭鮮花小鑽戒，他從不吝嗇，
阿娟有這樣的男友，真令人羨慕。
小芬的男友，看起來帥氣又帶點頹廢，
留及肩膀的長髮加上一點鬍渣，叼起煙來迷死人。
他會接送小芬上下班，陪小芬去買菜，
偶爾還會帶小芬上山下海找浪漫，看城市的星光或者樹林間的雲海，
當流星劃過，他會深情地看著小芬：
「我剛許了個願，要生生世世和妳在一起。」
更別提二人開車到平溪，在天燈上寫著天長地久，
然後頭靠著頭地一起目送它飄上天際，所有的姐姐妹妹們羨慕死了，羨慕死了。
小貓有個脾氣很好的情人，她生氣的時候他在一旁哄著；
她發火的時候他靜靜地遞上一杯果汁；她嘮叨的時候他不回一句話；
等小貓氣消了，他會給她一個深深的擁抱，仿佛一切都沒發生過。
他總是非常溫柔地照顧著小貓、小貓的家人、小貓的狗。
只要他有空，總是戴著棒球帽，跟在小貓身旁，像個守護神般地隨伺在候。
別人的情人，總是那麼好。
不是太帥太體貼，就是太有錢太浪漫，難怪姐妹門聚在一起總是說：
「好的單身男人都名花有主，要不就是Gay!」
聽起來，真有一種颱風來衝到便利商店，發現泡麵和吐司都被搶光的悔恨。
真的只是因為動作比別人慢嗎？
或者只是像英國作家艾倫.狄波頓以馬克司主義來解釋愛情，
只要在自己手中的，都沒別人的好。
是妳的情人不夠好，還是自己有問題？
是不是一個人活得太久，而忘了如何與別人相處？
是不是太以自我為中心而忘了別人的感受？
妳知道嗎？
阿娟的男友其實是靠家裡吃飯的公子哥兒，每找一份工作就嫌累，
不出一個星期，就又辭職繼續遊手好閒；有時候，阿娟也希望他有點骨氣。
小芬的男友其實沒什麼財務觀念，
自己一個月的薪水不夠花，還會伸手向小芬要錢，
另外，他的母親更是為了錢常向他們叨唸，還三番兩次地向小芬「暗示」：
「我們家兒子不是沒錢成家，因為他要養我……」弄得小芬一愣一愣的。
小貓的男友倒還好，有工作、有積蓄、有責任感、沒有愛錢的媽媽。
小貓和男友「唯一」的問題是，已經快一年沒有性生活了。
他容易累，身體不太好，對做愛興趣缺缺………..。
問小貓自己想不想？小貓無奈的嘆了口氣：「想又能怎樣？他不要啊…….」
於是我們明白了，情人之間不是只有手牽手衣冠楚楚的樣子；
情人之間不是只有幫忙開車門、一起點天燈的那一瞬間，
情人也是人，都有弱點，都有煩人的家人、工作、習慣，
或者，還有不可告人的秘密。
妳還覺得，別人的情人都那麼好嗎？
Wednesday, 19 March 2003
Tuesday, 18 March 2003
Saturday, 15 March 2003
他大概會很慘吧
他大概會很慘吧
我有同事喝醉了，硬拉我們去卡拉OK，還說誰不去就跟誰吵，我們沒辦法把他扶上車，
往他家直奔了去，騙他說是去卡拉OK.
到了他家，他老婆開的門，他一把抱住他老婆還笑嘻嘻的對我們說：這小姐挺漂亮
的，有點像我老婆！他老婆臉色頓時就變了，只是看我們在沒有發作，就回睡房了.
那老兄招呼我們到客廳坐著,要我們點歌，然後對我們說他上個廁所，進了廁所不到一分鐘，他家的電話就響起來了，他老婆出來接的電話，沒聽半分鐘就“啪”的把電話給摔了，接著那老兄就從廁所出來了，對我們興高采烈的叫道：兄弟們，今晚好好的玩吧，我已經打電話回家說我今晚加班不回來了.
我有同事喝醉了，硬拉我們去卡拉OK，還說誰不去就跟誰吵，我們沒辦法把他扶上車，
往他家直奔了去，騙他說是去卡拉OK.
到了他家，他老婆開的門，他一把抱住他老婆還笑嘻嘻的對我們說：這小姐挺漂亮
的，有點像我老婆！他老婆臉色頓時就變了，只是看我們在沒有發作，就回睡房了.
那老兄招呼我們到客廳坐著,要我們點歌，然後對我們說他上個廁所，進了廁所不到一分鐘，他家的電話就響起來了，他老婆出來接的電話，沒聽半分鐘就“啪”的把電話給摔了，接著那老兄就從廁所出來了，對我們興高采烈的叫道：兄弟們，今晚好好的玩吧，我已經打電話回家說我今晚加班不回來了.
Wednesday, 12 March 2003
朋友 - 真正的v.s.普通的
真正的v.s.普通的
一個普通的朋友從未看過你哭泣。一個真正的朋友有雙肩讓你的淚水濕盡。
一個普通的朋友不知道你父母的姓氏。一個真正的朋友有他們的電話在通訊錄上。
一個普通的朋友會帶瓶葡萄酒參加你的派對。一個真正的朋友會早點來幫你準備並且為了幫你打掃而晚點走。
一個普通的朋友討厭你在他睡了後打來。一個真正的朋友會問為什麼現在才打來。
一個普通的朋友找你談論你的困擾。一個真正的朋友找你解決你的困擾。
一個普通的朋友對你的羅曼史感到好奇。一個真正的朋友可以威脅你說出來。
一個普通的朋友在拜訪時，像一個客人一樣。一個真正的朋友會打開冰箱自己拿東西。
一個普通的朋友在吵架後就認為友誼已經結束。一個真正的朋友明白當你們還沒打過架就不叫真正的友誼。
一個普通的朋友期望你永遠在他身邊陪他。一個真正的朋友期望他能永遠陪在你身旁！
把這篇傳給任何你關心的人-如果有傳回給你代表你已經找到真正的朋友了！球是一個圈子，沒有起始，也沒有結束。它把我們結合在一起，像一圈子的朋友。但是留給你去看的秘密寶藏就是你給予我的珍貴友誼。今天我把友誼的球傳遞給你, 請你傳給任何一位你的朋友.
一個普通的朋友從未看過你哭泣。一個真正的朋友有雙肩讓你的淚水濕盡。
一個普通的朋友不知道你父母的姓氏。一個真正的朋友有他們的電話在通訊錄上。
一個普通的朋友會帶瓶葡萄酒參加你的派對。一個真正的朋友會早點來幫你準備並且為了幫你打掃而晚點走。
一個普通的朋友討厭你在他睡了後打來。一個真正的朋友會問為什麼現在才打來。
一個普通的朋友找你談論你的困擾。一個真正的朋友找你解決你的困擾。
一個普通的朋友對你的羅曼史感到好奇。一個真正的朋友可以威脅你說出來。
一個普通的朋友在拜訪時，像一個客人一樣。一個真正的朋友會打開冰箱自己拿東西。
一個普通的朋友在吵架後就認為友誼已經結束。一個真正的朋友明白當你們還沒打過架就不叫真正的友誼。
一個普通的朋友期望你永遠在他身邊陪他。一個真正的朋友期望他能永遠陪在你身旁！
把這篇傳給任何你關心的人-如果有傳回給你代表你已經找到真正的朋友了！球是一個圈子，沒有起始，也沒有結束。它把我們結合在一起，像一圈子的朋友。但是留給你去看的秘密寶藏就是你給予我的珍貴友誼。今天我把友誼的球傳遞給你, 請你傳給任何一位你的朋友.
A Very Smart Multimillionaire
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The blonde replies....."Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
Finally, a smart blonde joke.
An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The blonde replies....."Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
Finally, a smart blonde joke.
Monday, 10 March 2003
Be aware no matter where you are ...
Be aware no matter where you are ...
NIGHT CLUB RAPE
A woman at a prominent Auckland nightclub on Saturday night (01March) was taken by 5 men, who according to hospital and police reports, gang raped her before dumping her naked up North. Unable to remember the events of the evening, tests later confirmed the repeat rapes along with traces of Rohypnol in her blood.
Boyfriends and girlfriends, take heed. Progesterex, that is an essentially a small sterilisation pill. The drug is now being used by rapists at parties to rape AND sterilize their victims.
Progesterex is available to vets to sterilize large animals. Rumour has it that the Progesterex is being used together with Rohypnol, the date rape drug. As with Rohypnol, all they have to do is drop it into the girl's drink. The girl can't remember a thing the next morning, of all that had taken place the night before Progesterex, which dissolves in drinks just as easily, is such that the victim doesn't conceive from the rape and the rapist needn't worry about having a paternity test identifying him months later.
The drug's affects ARE NOT TEMPORARY - They are P*E*R*M*A*N*E*N*T
Progesterex was designed to sterilize horses. Any female that takes it WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO CONCEIVE.
The weasels can get this drug from anyone who is in the vet school or any university. It's that easy, and Progesterex is about to break out big on campuses everywhere. Believe it or not there is even a site on the internet showing people how to use it. Please forward this to everyone you know, especially girls.
Be careful when you're out and don't leave your drink unattended. Please make the effort to forward this on to all you know.
*pretty scary huh?*
NIGHT CLUB RAPE
A woman at a prominent Auckland nightclub on Saturday night (01March) was taken by 5 men, who according to hospital and police reports, gang raped her before dumping her naked up North. Unable to remember the events of the evening, tests later confirmed the repeat rapes along with traces of Rohypnol in her blood.
Boyfriends and girlfriends, take heed. Progesterex, that is an essentially a small sterilisation pill. The drug is now being used by rapists at parties to rape AND sterilize their victims.
Progesterex is available to vets to sterilize large animals. Rumour has it that the Progesterex is being used together with Rohypnol, the date rape drug. As with Rohypnol, all they have to do is drop it into the girl's drink. The girl can't remember a thing the next morning, of all that had taken place the night before Progesterex, which dissolves in drinks just as easily, is such that the victim doesn't conceive from the rape and the rapist needn't worry about having a paternity test identifying him months later.
The drug's affects ARE NOT TEMPORARY - They are P*E*R*M*A*N*E*N*T
Progesterex was designed to sterilize horses. Any female that takes it WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO CONCEIVE.
The weasels can get this drug from anyone who is in the vet school or any university. It's that easy, and Progesterex is about to break out big on campuses everywhere. Believe it or not there is even a site on the internet showing people how to use it. Please forward this to everyone you know, especially girls.
Be careful when you're out and don't leave your drink unattended. Please make the effort to forward this on to all you know.
*pretty scary huh?*
Friday, 7 March 2003
GOD
IF SOMEONE HAD A GUN HELD IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE AND ASKED YOU IF YOU BELIEVED IN GOD, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? SAY NO AND FEEL ASHAMED THE REST OF YOUR LIFE? OR SAY YES, I DO, AND DIE STANDING UP FOR GOD? IF YOU'D SAY NO, THEN DELETE THIS E-MAIL. IF YOU WOULD SAY YES, AND STAND UP FOR JESUS CHRIST, PLEASE READ THIS AND PASS ON.
Note: This is a true article that was printed in a southern newspaper less then a year ago
TAKE A DEEP BREATH BEFORE READING THIS
There was an atheist couple who had a child. The couple never told their daughter anything about the Lord. One night when the little girl was 5 years old, the parents fought with each other and the dad shot the Mom, right in front of the child. Then, the dad shot ! himself. The little girl watched it all. She then was sent to a foster home. The foster mother was a Christian and took the child to church. On the first day of Sunday School, the foster mother told the teacher that the girl had never heard of Jesus, and to have patience with her. The teacher held up a picture of Jesus and said, "Does anyone know who this is?" The little girl said, "I do, that's the man who was holding me the night my parents died."
If you believe this little girl is telling the truth that even though she had never heard of Jesus, he still held her the night her parents died, then you will forward this to as many people as you can.
Or you can delete it as if it never touched your heart.
Funny, isn't it?
Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell.
Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says.
Funny how everyone wants to go to heaven provided they do not have to believe, think, say, or do anything the Bible says. (Or is it scary?)
Funny how someone can say "I believe in God" but still follow Satan (who, by the way, also "believes" in God).
Funny how you can send a thousand 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.
Funny how the lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but the public discussion of Jesus is suppressed in the school and workplace.
Funny how someone can be so fired up for Christ on Sunday, but be an invisible Christian the rest of the week. (Are you laughing?)
Funny how when you go to forward this message,you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it to them. be more worried about what other people think of me than what God thinks of me. (Are you thinking?)
Pass this on only if you mean it.
Yes, I do Love God
Note: This is a true article that was printed in a southern newspaper less then a year ago
TAKE A DEEP BREATH BEFORE READING THIS
There was an atheist couple who had a child. The couple never told their daughter anything about the Lord. One night when the little girl was 5 years old, the parents fought with each other and the dad shot the Mom, right in front of the child. Then, the dad shot ! himself. The little girl watched it all. She then was sent to a foster home. The foster mother was a Christian and took the child to church. On the first day of Sunday School, the foster mother told the teacher that the girl had never heard of Jesus, and to have patience with her. The teacher held up a picture of Jesus and said, "Does anyone know who this is?" The little girl said, "I do, that's the man who was holding me the night my parents died."
If you believe this little girl is telling the truth that even though she had never heard of Jesus, he still held her the night her parents died, then you will forward this to as many people as you can.
Or you can delete it as if it never touched your heart.
Funny, isn't it?
Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell.
Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says.
Funny how everyone wants to go to heaven provided they do not have to believe, think, say, or do anything the Bible says. (Or is it scary?)
Funny how someone can say "I believe in God" but still follow Satan (who, by the way, also "believes" in God).
Funny how you can send a thousand 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.
Funny how the lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but the public discussion of Jesus is suppressed in the school and workplace.
Funny how someone can be so fired up for Christ on Sunday, but be an invisible Christian the rest of the week. (Are you laughing?)
Funny how when you go to forward this message,you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it to them. be more worried about what other people think of me than what God thinks of me. (Are you thinking?)
Pass this on only if you mean it.
Yes, I do Love God
Tuesday, 25 February 2003
XD funni
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an
animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at
first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say
the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come
once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee
twice. Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.
"In this country....we don't speak aloud in pubic places about our sex
lives........."
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a
justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
I BET YOU READ THIS AGAIN!!
animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at
first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say
the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come
once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee
twice. Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.
"In this country....we don't speak aloud in pubic places about our sex
lives........."
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a
justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
I BET YOU READ THIS AGAIN!!
Thursday, 20 February 2003
Anti Valentine
Some people might actually be able to relate to this...
These are entries to a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but least romantic second line... Enjoy!
ANTI VALENTINE
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you, because I was p!ssed.
I thought that I could love no other,
Until, that is, I met your brother.
Of loving beauty you float with grace,
If only you could hide your face.
I want to feel your sweet embrace,
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes,
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife,
Marrying you screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming,
That's why I always wake up screaming.
My love you take my breath away,
What have you stepped in to smell this way.
My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell".
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet, and so are you.
The roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
These are entries to a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but least romantic second line... Enjoy!
ANTI VALENTINE
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you, because I was p!ssed.
I thought that I could love no other,
Until, that is, I met your brother.
Of loving beauty you float with grace,
If only you could hide your face.
I want to feel your sweet embrace,
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes,
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife,
Marrying you screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming,
That's why I always wake up screaming.
My love you take my breath away,
What have you stepped in to smell this way.
My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell".
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet, and so are you.
The roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
Saturday, 8 February 2003
Inspirations for the New Year
1. Set a Goal for yourself
2. Smile as often as you can
3. Share your happiness
4. Be ready to help "people"
5. Be childish
6. Learn to live in harmony with different people
7. Keep your humour
8. Do not be afraid under difficult situations
9. Forgive, Yes, Forgive
10. Cherish real friendship
11. Be cooperative and enjoy team work
12. Do not ignore your loved one
13. Be confident
14. Respect the weak
15. Spoil yourself occasionally
16. Do your favourite internet thing at least at lunch in the office
17. Be brave and try new things
18. Do not take money too seriously
2. Smile as often as you can
3. Share your happiness
4. Be ready to help "people"
5. Be childish
6. Learn to live in harmony with different people
7. Keep your humour
8. Do not be afraid under difficult situations
9. Forgive, Yes, Forgive
10. Cherish real friendship
11. Be cooperative and enjoy team work
12. Do not ignore your loved one
13. Be confident
14. Respect the weak
15. Spoil yourself occasionally
16. Do your favourite internet thing at least at lunch in the office
17. Be brave and try new things
18. Do not take money too seriously
Sunday, 5 January 2003
"Family" stands for...
This is so true........
Are you aware that if we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than into our own family, an unwise investment indeed, don't you think? So what is behind the story?
Do you know what the word FAMILY means?
FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU
Are you aware that if we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than into our own family, an unwise investment indeed, don't you think? So what is behind the story?
Do you know what the word FAMILY means?
FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
